I am struggling to get over my husband cheating now.. Sometimes I feel like it's not even worth it, you know? Because no matter how good it gets, I can always get shot down in a second by thinking about what he did. Is it worth it?

Tough question: Is it worth it? Hard to accept, but there is a reason for the infidelity. Be it a character flaw or insecurity or opportunity or loneliness or anger or revenge or what ever. Until that reason is brought forward and dealt with, you will never know if its worth it.

I'm sorry for you both. >

I'm in the same boat, my husband cheated on me as well, he had two seperate affairs in our first year of marriage. I'm with the 1st commentor. I know exactly where you guys are at. But I'm trying to make it work too. Only time will tell if the thousands of dollars in counseling is going to help.

I'm at the point when I can go weeks or even months without even thinking about the infidelity. Then we watch a movie where someone cheats on someone else - it all come crashing back. Our relationship is like a leaky roof. When its sunny, eveything is fine. But when it rains, the leaks start to show. I suppose we're getting better as the leaks are getting smaller and fewer.

Either let it go, for real, or let her go. You're going to destroy your relationship by dwelling on it. I promise!

Infidelity is not just a bad fight, or a "misunderstanding" that can be forgotten about or easily forgiven. If you choose to try to make it work, then it become part of the processes. Of course, you can choose to just let him/her go, but that doesn't absolve your emotions. If your the type of person who can just let the cheating go and still be intimate with someone without the fear of indidelity, then you are very lucky.

sorry you are going through this hard times,with the infideliity,but life is short,take the bull by the horns and end it asap..happiness will be yours again.he or she is not worth staying in a relationship,if its that easy to drop your panties or drawers for anyone,besides your spouse...its just not right..for either one of you.that sting will hurt you forever ,until you can make a clean start again..i wish you luck and complete happiness in life..

This is probably a stupid question - if you could have an affair for revenge, would it make you feel better? I know it sounds dumb. But maybe you'd understand. Affairs happen, all the time, for all manner of reasons. Some people just aren't cut out for monogamy. Maybe if you f***ed someone else you'd realize it doesn't change who you are. The cheating is something he did, it's not who he is. You could cheat and find out that while you feel sleazy, you're still you and you still love him.