Don't tell him and live with the guilt. THAT'S your punishment.

I think you already know why you cheated. You wanted the attention. I know that the only time I cheated on my ex was whenever he wasn't giving me the attention I needed and craved. If your not getting that attention from him, and someone else is giving it to you, it's only nature to go after what's making you feel good. Not that it's right, but that's what I think happens.

I would NOT tell him while he is deployed. You would be putting his life and the lives of those in his section in jeoprady. Wait until R&R and tell him then.

Telling him isn't for his benefit, it's for yours. You want to feel less guilty at his expense?

It's true you shouldn't tell him. But you should also stop doing it. By the way, why did you go ahead with marrying him after he cheated on you? I would've kicked him to the curb.

go to counseling and through that decide what you should do as far as whether you tell him or not.

OP here, I have stopped cheating. Matter of fact, I will NEVER, EVER do this again. I'm already losing my mind over it...he will never know, but I always will. That's enough to make me go crazy...but I think I have solved this issue. Counseling it is. Time to heal myself from the inside out...forget about that worthless guy, and remember why I married my husband. And 7:07, I would never jeapordize his life or anyone's that is with him. God, I can't even believe I put myself into this situation...

So it's ok for him to cheat, but not you?

OP here again, to answer your question no it's not okay for him to cheat. After he cheated, we separated for a year. Both went our separate ways. Fate brought us back together...I'm assuming that him being deployed made me feel like he "left me" again...brought up past issues that I haven't fully dealt with because I wasn't given all of the answers. All I ever wanted to know was why? and the only answer I've ever gotten was "because I was stupid and immature and didn't know that I had the perfect woman to begin with". It just sucks knowing I always came in second to him...and now I'm coming in second with the military. I'm not condoning my behavior at all because two wrongs do not make a right...but typically old wounds scar and that scar is there forever. If you're lucky, it will eventually fade but never disappear. I still love the man, the father of my children, and this is what I've realized...Marriages are not always perfect. I've just got to deal with it.