My husband and I have been married 5 years this weekend. I LOVE being married to him and he feels the same. It's great to have ONE person in your life and not just a bunch of somebodies. We connect on levels most people only dream of. And the sex....OMG, it gets better every time. Maybe I'm lucky and we really do have the real deal going because I know most aren't like this.

Well it seems like when you first get married that you are complete but after a few years or so when things settle down and you grow a little you are right you do lose your right to just walk away. Sucks. But you also know that if you have a really big fight they have to atleast talk to you again and can't totally write you off because you are married and many things have been combined. And the love you have for one another become stronger I believe when you get married but it makes things like lying to you hurt more.

As a married woman, I can tell you that if this marriage doesn't work out, I will never marry again. I don't get it either, anymore at least.

Children is a big fat logical, social and legal reason for marriage. They require a lot of support and responsibility. And as a father, I feel dads who skip out on their kids should lose quite a bit, starting with their testes.

I have been married for 3 1/2 years. I ask myself the same question everyday.

OP here. Thanks to everyone for the input so far (and what an interesting mix of responses it is.) I should have mentioned that I don't want kids. I can see a reason to marry if you want to have kids. But if you don't, it gets a lot harder for me to see the point to it all.

There are a few benefits of getting married to do with taxes and inheritance tax. It all depends where you live also I suppose. Usually in most countires there are benefits for married couples.

I am married and I don't get it either. I never really did but it just seems that people expect you to get married and somewhere along the way you just give in and say okay, and then you get in it, and you say...well, I knew I didn't get it and I still don't get it. Then you spend your days fantasizing about getting out.

My true story. Got married, wife devloped brain cancer. Had tumour opperation and survived. She's now not the woman I married, but nor is she a vegatable. For better or for worse!!! People don't really consider its full meaning. She was pregnant with identical twins during the tumour after our first daughter was still born. Yes the kid factor has been important, but don't forget kids or no kids, marriage is an aggreement/contract, read the fine print. There's nothing wrong with marriage other than those that aggree without understanding. We spend more time reading the conditions of a 30 year homeloan than we do contemplating the commitment to a life long relationship.

When you start to lose your looks and you get older, wouldn't it be nice to have one person that has grown with you through the years. Someone that will stand by you no matter what. Someone that loves you for who you are, who you REALLY are, not the masks you wear. THAT is why you get married.

to me, marriage shows commitment and i expect nothing less from my life partner. kids don't change the commitment issue either way for me. if you're not OK with the idea of committing yourself 100% to one person for your entire life then it's fine to decide that marriage isn't for you. who cares? it's a personal relationship thing. i am curious as to what you believe someone in a serious relationship stands to lose by getting married. i can't think of anything.

Well, it helps to not be cynical about it. Some of these comments...well, people with views like THAT on marriage probably shouldn't be married. Its about love, nothing more. Not "having someone who HAS to talk to you." However, its not for everyone. For me, I want it. I want to spend the rest of my life with that one person that I love more than anything. But some people are happy just living together forever, and that's fine too. I know a couple like that, and they're more "husband and wife" than many of the married couples I know! Its all just personal preference, really. No one can tell you what the big deal about marriage is, or why they want it, and be able to convey why it is so important to them, if its not important to you. Its one of those things that, if you don't want it, anything someone says about their reasonings can easily be disputed. Do what makes you happy.

The first two comments are exceptions and they are lucky. I myself as a man will never marry. You have way too much to lose.

OP here: Wow, this is really interesting! Thanks everyone. One person said: "i am curious as to what you believe someone in a serious relationship stands to lose by getting married. i can't think of anything..." My response (and this has actually been touched upon already by a couple of posters above...) is that it is a legal CONTRACT, with commitments that happen to freak me out. I mean, sure it's romantic to make a commitment to someone you love. And it may feel nice and secure in the throes of young love/passion. BUT, thinking practically here, what if things start to go sour (which happens all the time, as you well know)? What if the other person turns out to be someone unlike the one you thought you were marrying? Then what? You can never TRULY know someone. What if the person runs up huge debts? You're now someone the collectors can legally come to. What if your wife gets knocked up by another guy? You could now be considered the legal father (=financially responsible), even if paternity tests show otherwise, because you were married to the mother. See what I mean? Why sign up for all the legal entanglements, when in this day and age, it's reasonably acceptable to just live together? I mean, yes, the fact that the other person is legally accountable to you could provide you sense of security, but it could backfire, too. Just sayin...

I married because of religous reasons and security. If I had it to do all over.I married because I found a man that I wanted to dedicate the rest of my life to, with the whole for better or worse. His reasoning is still a mistery to me. But I wanted to have a perminent partner that would love me on good and bad days and stand by me for the long haul. year 1 just passed and I'm not sure if he'll hold up his end of the bargin. I will never marry again.

I agree with the OP - if you're not planning on having children, there is really no purpose to marriage anymore, especially for a woman. In days gone by, a woman could not purchase property or be extended credit without a husband. Those days are long gone, and I have no practical use for a husband at all. And before anyone says "marriage is about love, not just money or practicality," I am absolutely in love with my partner, and we share all the intimacies of a married couple. Except no one can come after me if he fucks up his credit, and he is not on the hook for supporting my lazy ass if we split up and I sue him for spousal support. So I think it's a win-win.

I think people assume not getting married = being alone and playing the field for one's whole life (until "you lose your looks," that is). When, really, that is not the intent of most intelligent people who question marriage. I know, for me, I fully intend to be with my boyfriend for my whole life, but I like the idea that we're together of free will, and not because in order to part we would have to involve lawyers and paperwork and claims on assets.

I am not married and never plan to be cause like you I don't see the point. For 1 Why should we pay money for a piece of paper that says we are committed to each other. We both know we are and that's what matters. and 2 I have being the center of attention so a wedding is the LAST thing I want. And if some day we decided to no longer be together then I have one less thing to worry about divorce costs. We have 4 kids and we have been together for 13 years we own a house together,cars etc. I get his life insurance when he dies, he mine. By law (in this country) we have all the same rights/rules as if we were married. It's called common-law and costs nothing.

If marriage isn't for you, that's fine. I think it has something to do with a person's feelings regarding commitment and relationships. I never thought I would get married, and I was with my partner for 6 years before we got married. However, I couldn't imagine NOT being married to him. I was terrified of commitment in the past, but now there is nothing better in this world than to be with my husband - to know that we have each other, and will give each other everything. Sometimes it's not nice or easy, but it's always worth it. :)

I bet if you asked you would find out that most guys just "gave in" I know I did. I kind of ran out of options. I love my wife and didn't want to break up with her, but I also didn't want to get married. I guess it just came down to "$hit or get off the pot". So here I sit in my pile of $hit. I am not in a bad marriage and I still love my wife, but I am not at all convinced that I couldn't do better (there is another huge story associated with that) and perhaps she could to. I think the nature of the beast is such that a good marriage is BORING (like Chris Rock said) and no matter how much you try to put excitement into it, people just get complacent and stop trying. That's when it goes downhill and the sweet woman or guy you married turns into the confrontational, materialistic, impossible, sucubus from hell.

I already didn't want to get married, but after reading these comments, I'm even more convinced not to! I'm truly happy for the minority of posters who are content in their marriages, but I feel more strongly sorry for those of you who think you made the wrong choice and feel stuck now. My heart goes out to you.

I didn't want to get married. I'm not going to have children, and have seen too many married people miserable. F*** that. But then I met my boyfriend, and fell in love, and he's the person that I want to be bound to. We're not having a wedding, but are devoting ourselves to each other, and I feel comfortable making it legal.

i was never real interested in getting married. i met a guy who was so into me he gave up his life to move cross country with me. he seemed like a great life partner. we planned to marry. then i got pregnant so we did it sooner so i could share his health benefits. we moved back cross country to have the baby, bought a house, and tried to work through a very stressful time. then he punched me in the face. as hard as things were, up until that point i also believed in for better or worse. now i have a child i love more than anything, but am in a financial mess, have to heavily rely on family. i can't afford a divorce yet, and this "great life partner" doesn't even want to bother with his son. i don't regret my actions, but after this, i'll think long and hard about getting married again.

Always remember that You Don't Have To. You don't have to do anything and anyone who thinks you're missing out/will regret it/generally is up their own ass enough to think they know what's better for you should be ignored.

I LOVE being married! He is my best friend, and knows me almost better than I know myself. We have been married 13 years, and we work to keep it hot. 2 kids later, I wouldn't change a thing. No matter the attitude of the day, I know my husband adores me, as I do him. He makes me feel safe, beautiful, sexy, and the list goes on...I was one of the "I will NEVER get marrieds", and then I met him and I knew he was the one...

Marriage is an antiquated, medieval practice. It is not necessary in the modern world. Sure, if you've been living together forever, by then it might make some sense to get married, just for the fun of it, and the financial/tax/insurance benefits too. Kids need a lot of support but you don't even need to be married to raise a kid together. I know a couple that recently got married after the kid they raised from infancy was long gone to college.