if you were to contact her and your wife found out, I bet you wouldn't rebuild again. is just saying hi really worth the chance you could lose your wife for good?

Usually this urge goes beyond just "checking in to say hi." If you're wife is not cool w/you having another affair, I'd be very careful about reaching out to your old lover.

so see if your wife is ready for a 3some

my hubby had an affair, and I cought him. They ended it, so we "rebuilt" our marriage. Then He reached out to say hello & check in. Well needless to say me & our children checked out. He see's his kids every other weekend now, and I'm better off.

Don't do it. Leave well enough alone and be thankful for such a forgiving wife.

I think that when people just want to "check in" with a former lover, it's generally more than just a platonic notion. It seems like you still have feelings for the other woman. If I were your wife, that would upset me, and I don't think I'd be willing to continue working on our relationship. I hope (for your wife's sake) that you figure out what you want and follow through, whatever that may mean. But please don't sneak behind her back. She deserves better than that. If you want the other woman, do the right thing and leave your wife (in a compassionate a way as possible). Don't string her along.

If you feel that it would be cheating to just contact your former lover, then you know it would be. Leave your wife already.

Don't even go there if you truly want your marriage to work. The condition of having your marriage put back together will DEFINITELY be to cut this other woman out of your life completely. Deal with that or get out and don't be so unbelievably selfish towards the forgiving woman who's willing to give you another chance. Geez, some people just don't know when they're lucky.